7 Ways to Stay Calm During the Christmas Season
The Christmas season means lots of preparations and family time in abundance. As an ADHD mum with ADHD children, are you dreading this time of year? Are you wondering how you will survive this time of year? You are not alone. As an ADHD mum myself, with 5 ADHD children, I have struggled many years to stay sane during many family gatherings. Here are my top 7 tried and tested methods that have helped me to navigate many challenging family situations.
Fill yourself up
Those with ADHD tend to focus on others more than they focus on themselves. This leads to
overworking, stress, overwhelm and illness.
You are constantly giving to those around you. This time of year can be draining. It is vital
that you fill yourself up every day with an activity that refreshes you. If you have worked
hard at creating a good routine such as exercise, meditation or something else that
nourishes your soul, at this time of year it is so easy to just drop it and let it go. By keeping
up your routines you will be guaranteed a more successful and easy transition into the new
year.
Prioritise
The problem with ADHD is that those who have ADHD find it very hard to focus on one
thing. They tend to focus on the many things going on around them. This leads to
overachieving, overwhelm and burnout.
Decide ahead of time what do you define as a successful family gathering? Is it the stress in
creating an elaborate menu, or is it the wonderful memories that we will make with your loved
ones? Decide what is important to you and stick to it no matter what. How can you create
lifelong family memories? Your family members are gathering together because they want to
spend time with you. The food is a plus, however they want you.
Deep breaths
When you get stressed and tense, your “fight flight freeze” mechanism goes into high alert.
You may unknowingly hold in your breath, and restrict your breathing. This stops oxygen
from flowing to our brain, our stress levels become higher and thinking processes become
muddled. Next time you get stressed, take some deep breathes and notice yourself
becoming calmer and more focused.
Lower your expectations
Are you a perfectionist? A common ADHD trait. Perfectionists, run themselves ragged, trying
to achieve the impossible.
Simplify your menus. I know you might feel like you are cheating. But honestly speaking is
there an element of perfectionism involved here?
Do you know that perfection doesn’t exist
in this world. Do you know that you are setting ourselves up for failure by striving to reach
heights that are beyond us. Psychologists point out that we need to replace striving for
perfection with striving for excellence or good enough.
Lower your standards. Who are you
trying to impress by your elaborate preparations? What will you gain by working yourself
ragged?
Expect things to not go as planned
Flexible thinking is a crucial life skill. One that needs to be taught. Expect to make mistakes.
You don’t have to get it right all the time, some of the time is simply good enough. When you
are mentally prepared for mishaps you will be able to handle them better and overcome
them and move on swiftly. Can you find the sense of humour in the mishaps that are bound
to happen? By laughing over them you create teaching moments for your loved ones.
Remember the following, “Humour is tragedy plus time. “Carol burnett.
Prepare for the next phase before it happens
Foresight, or prospective thinking is another skill. If you have ADHD you may find this one
really difficult. This is a skill that you can learn.
This crucial aspect of our planning is often overlooked. Life will move on. This season will
soon be over with.
Prepare ahead and you will manage the transition phase with grace and
ease. On your last day of work before Christmas, simply write a plan of to-do tasks to get to
once you get back to the office into the new year. This tool will help to ground you and
keep you focused. You will actually enjoy the festive season more when you do this.
Switch off your devices
I dare you to try the following. During family meals encourage all members to turn off their
devices and phones. See what a difference it makes to your family time.
This season will pass and with a bit of foresight and planning you will be left with lasting
family memories.
I will be celebrating Chanukah, but no matter what you celebrate, I wish you calm and true inner peace to navigate your life.
If you have ADHD, you can now get funding for FREE ADHD coaching to support you at work.